When is Helping Really Helping

“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way fulfill the law of Christ…

Each one should carry his own load.”

Galatians 6:2 & 5 (NIV)

I haven’t brought you out here in a while. (For those of you reading and not watching the video – look at the picture posted with this post)  You may remember that last year in Advent I brought you out here to show you a building they were tearing down.  Well it is almost a year later and as you can see they are now in the midst of constructing a brand new building. 

You will also notice the huge cranes that are here on this construction site.  They are why I have brought you out here one more time.  I think these cranes can help us understand two verses, Galatians 6:2 & 5 that are sometimes a very confusing.   At first glance these verses seem to contradict each other.  How does it make sense that in verse 2 St. Paul encourages us to “carry each other’s burdens” but then in verse 5 he writes that “each one should carry his own load?”  The key is in understanding the difference between a “burden” and a “load.”  That’s where these construction cranes come in.  The purpose of these cranes is lift, carry and put in place objects that are way too heavy for the men to carry themselves.  These cranes are not used to lift the smaller items that the workers can carry.  There you have it.  A “burden” is something too difficult or too heavy for a person to carry himself.  A “load” is something one person can handle. 

Paul in these verses is answering the question, “When is helping really helping?”  As a Pastor I have been asked many times, “How do I know when I should help someone?  How do I know if by helping I am doing more harm than good?”  The answer is in understanding the difference between a “burden” and a “load.”  Let me give you a couple of examples.  I had a parent call me once who was very frustrated with how her son was doing in college.  I asked what was going on.  She said, “He keeps getting himself in trouble.  Each time, I call the school and argue his way out of that trouble.  Then two weeks later he is in more trouble.  He’s not getting his work done for class.  He’s flunking.  I have tried everything.  I have even written his papers for him.  None of it helps.”  This is a good example of someone whose help is doing more harm than good.  Her son needed to face the consequences of his actions and learn how to deal with them.  He didn’t have to, because his mom was doing it for him.  She was carrying his load and it wasn’t helping. 

One more example – a friend of mine, Dick Lasch, had a neighbor who fell off of a ladder and broke his back.  This neighbor was completely immobilized for several months.  During that time Dick went over once a week and mowed the man’s lawn, and did other things for the man which at that point he couldn’t do for himself.  Dick was helping to carry that man’s burden. When the man got healthy again, Dick stopped because now the neighbor could do it for himself. 

In other words, helping people with struggles they can’t handle by themselves and at the same time allowing them to struggle with the things that they can handle – that’s when helping is really helping.  Paul says that this “fulfills the law of Christ.”  After all this is what Jesus does.  He allows us to deal with the struggles and decisions that we can handle. We are perfectly capable of making right choices, and so forth.  Sure we can pray to him for guidance.  But ultimately he doesn’t make those choices for us.  He allows us to carry life’s load and so learn to walk faithfully with Him. However the burdens of life – the things we can’t handle – sin, addiction, temptation, death and more – those he carries for us.  Isaiah says it so clearly, “He took up our infirmities and carried our sorrows… He was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon Him and by His wounds we are healed.”  That’s what He did for us on the cross.  He took up our burdens.  That’s also why He places us in churches and gives us one another.  He knows that there are different kinds of burdens that we need help with.  So He gives us each other to care, to listen, to hold each other accountable – to be His presence in each other’s lives – Jesus through us carrying each other’s burdens.