Happiness or Joy?

“Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say rejoice!”

Philippians 4:4

I will never forget it.  A young mother was trying to pose her two little girls for a Christmas photo with two little puppies.  The girls, however, wouldn’t cooperate.  They were very tired from a full and busy day with family.  They wouldn’t sit still.  Finally the mother got angry, slammed down her hand on the floor and yelled, “Smile!”   Well then the girls started to cry.  I won’t tell you what the puppies did.

That simple story has always served as a reminder to me that you can’t command happiness. You and I can’t make someone else happy.  I think that is what frustrates many a spouse in marriage.  They make it their goal to make the other person happy.  When they can’t do it, they get “frustrated.”  When the other person gets discouraged or worried or fearful, they either think it’s their fault or they make it their responsibility to make the person happy.  All their efforts to make the unhappy person happy just make that other person even more unhappy.  The demand that they be happy has just added another burden to their life… another demand is made of them that they are doomed to fail.   You may wish for another person’s happiness but you can’t command it.  It’s just not in your power.

But how then can Paul write these words to the Christians in Philippi , “Rejoice in the Lord always?”  Quite simply this is because happiness and joy are not the same thing.  Happiness is at the mercy of circumstances.   If the weather is nice for my picnic… if I get a raise at work… If I am healthy I may very well be happy.  However, if the picnic gets rained out, or if I lose my job, or if I need surgery I may very well be unhappy.

Joy however is something different.  Joy is not at the mercy of life’s ever changing circumstances.  Joy is, according to Paul, a fruit of the Spirit.  Joy is a product of our relation with God.  The weather, our health, our employment and other such circumstances are constantly changing.  Our relationship with God doesn’t change based on such things.  God’s love for us is sure no matter what the weather, no matter what our job status or our health.  Good or bad, we continue to live in the assurance that He loves us either way.  Why? God gave His Son for us.   That fact doesn’t change with the weather.  God’s Son Jesus gave His life as the atoning sacrifice for our sins.  Having a good job or getting fired doesn’t change that fact. 

Happiness is at the mercy of our changing circumstances, not joy.  Paul tells us to rejoice in the Lord always for no matter what else changes in our lives, we can always count on Him.  If I lose my job I am probably not going to be happy, but I can’t still rejoice in the Lord who will never leave me or forsake me.  If I have cancer that will not be happy news but I can still rejoice in the Lord for He makes all things work together for the good of those who love Him.  I was not happy when my dad and later my mom died.  I missed them.  I hurt.  I grieved.  But I also rejoiced for I believe that Jesus died and rose again and so I believe that when He comes again God will bring my parents with Him. 

My country sets as one of its goals the pursuit of happiness.  While happiness is a wonderful thing, such a goal for life is certain to frustrate you because happiness can change with the weather.  Much better is to seek after the God who has come seeking you in Jesus Christ.  He is unchanging.  His love, and His forgiveness are gifts that He will not take away.  The fruit of knowing Him and believing in Him is a joy that deals with the changing realities of life by trusting in the unchanging hope He gives.  The fruit of knowing God in Christ is exactly as Paul describes it in Philippians  – “Rejoice in the Lord  always; again, I will say rejoice!”