“As a father has
compassion on his children
So the LORD has
compassion on those who fear Him;”
Psalm 103:13
(NIV)
My
greatest fear growing up was of my father dying. Sometimes, as a child, I would lie in bed, and
the thought of life without him would terrify me. Who would take care of me… feed me… pay taxes…
provide a house? Who else would love me
and be proud of me the way he was? My
dad loved me… loved all my sisters and me.
And we all loved him. He was a
quiet man. He and I could ride for hours
in his pickup truck, not say anything and be perfectly happy in each other’s
company. Dad didn’t often say “I love you.”
But he showed it. He always
wanted me around – at bowling league, at golf league, at work. I
loved going to work with him as a child and working for him as a teen. When I
became a Pastor those roles switched. When
they came to visit dad went to every worship service on every Sunday. He wanted to be a part of everything at the
churches where I served. He showed his
love and his pride in his kids. Dad loved
children and they loved him. Kids were
naturally drawn to him. He could take a
screaming baby; walk him or her around mumbling softly to them. In moments that baby would be sound asleep. He
was always wrestling with me and my buddies. He had crazy, nonsensical sayings that he
would repeat to us kids again and again.
Every time we laughed. Every time
his grandkids laughed. Dad gave me my
work ethic. He taught me to golf, to
bowl, to love the Chicago Cubs and Bears.
He even taught me some very important lessons about being a Pastor. I
was scared to death of the day when he would die.
If
you can’t tell – I adored my father. He
was my hero. He still is. Lois and Kathy would say the same. Yes I know in my brain that he wasn’t perfect,
but still today in my heart I see him as someone who could do no wrong, who
could fix anything, do anything. My fervent prayer has always been that I would
be just like him… my deepest desire that my children would love me the way I
loved him. However, I am not near as
patient as he was. I have been more
selfish… have had a sharp temper… strong opinions (where those traits come from
is not the point but I bet my sisters know).
I imagine dad would set me straight about his true faults and
failings. But alas… how could I ever
measure up to him? And once again, how
would I ever get along without dad?
Then
it happened. 20 years ago, on Feb. 24th 1996 my father had a massive
heart attack and died. I was standing
there with mom, right next to him. I can
see it all happen, moment by moment, as he passed from this life. It is my most
vivid memory. It was the hardest day of my life. I have missed him every day since. Yet here I am 20 years later. I have survived and thrived. Why? Because the most important thing my dad
passed on to me, is how much my Father in heaven loves me. Dad did that by taking me to church, teaching
me about our God and Savior, but most of all Dad did it the same way he let us
know he loved us. He showed me God’s
love by the way he loved me. That’s the
point of this verse from Psalm 103. “As a father has compassion on his children so
the LORD has compassion on those who fear Him…”
Who took care of me, watched over me, provided for me after my dad
died? Well the simple answer is that my heavenly
Father has taken care of me all these years.
He helped me and healed me as I grieved.
He has been there as we moved to Wisconsin, back to Texas and now to
Germany. He has blessed Linda and me
with homes, food and clothing, jobs, our wonderful children, with wonderful
daughter and son in laws, five grandchildren.
He has given us each other. In fact,
He has always been the one. Even when my
dad was alive it was my Father in heaven taking care of me. It was He who gave me my dad.
You
see that is the ultimate purpose of being a father – to show your children by
your love how God the Father loves them.
I love my children and grandchildren… and they love me. But it is far more important that they know
that God loves them, so much that He gave His own Son that they might be His
children. Far more important than how my
children feel about me or how yours feel about you… is that they believe in and
love our Father in heaven and His Son Jesus Christ. So I stand here today, so grateful for the love
my dad shared with me… grateful that he taught me about and showed me God’s
love… Grateful that our children and grandchildren know, believe in and love
God. That’s the purpose of a fathers
love – to show the Father’s love. Thanks
Dad. I miss you. I can’t wait to see you again.
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