Remembering Mom

Isaiah 49:15–16a (ESV)

“Can a woman forget her nursing child, that she should 

have no compassion on the son of her womb?

Even these may forget, yet I will not forget you. 

Behold, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands…”

February is an interesting month for me and my sisters.  Both of our parents died in the month of February, albeit years apart.  As of this week, it is now four years since my mom died.  Each year as this week rolls around again, I cannot help but sit back and remember my mom.   

She was in many ways a contradiction.  On the one hand she could at times be very harsh and critical.  For her the glass was often half empty.  She worried a lot, about everything.  She had a temper.  We as her kids were probably more aware of that than maybe others were.  At the same time she had a lot of compassion.  One of my favorite memories of my mom is of the many nights she sat by my bed, rubbing my back, helping me relax and full asleep.  She could be very direct when we needed it.  I was in a really whiny mood one day until my mom, very abruptly told me, “Get that chip off your shoulder and quit feeling sorry for yourself.”  She was right and I knew it.  She also had great faith.  When dad died, it was her faith in Jesus that gave her the courage to face his death.  It was her faith that kept after me, “Wayne you need to talk about this.”   My oldest sister Bobbie lost her ability to speak and to hear and some cognitive ability when she was two years old.  Listen to words mom wrote to Bobbie at that time, “We are all so happy and thankful to God for so generously answering our prayers.  People have been praying for you in Colorado, in Florida, in Maine and in many other places.  If you ever doubt the power of God to heal through His instruments who are our doctors, please remember it is only by the grace of God and His divine guidance that you are still with your mom and dad and your sister who love you dearly and still pray for your complete recovery… Don’t let anyone tell you your hearing loss is a handicap darling.  It’s no worse than some of the things that mom and dad are lacking.  We all have difficulties and feeling sorry for ourselves doesn’t help… just be thankful for what you have.”

The hardest part about remembering my mom is the fact that at the end of her life, she couldn’t remember me.  She had a terrible disease called Alzheimer’s.  I remember how hard it was for Kathy and Lois, when they came for the 25^th anniversary of my ordination and mom didn’t remember them.  Oh she still knew she had daughters.  At the end she still knew she had a son.  She remembered my name was Wayne.  She just didn’t remember that it was me.  When she died, I felt as if Alzheimer’s had robbed me of the last years with mom.  There are things I wish I had talked to her about.  I have to admit, the fact that she had Alzheimer’s scares me.  Every time I can’t recall something, I worry, “Will that happen to me?” 

That’s why I find this verse from Isaiah 49 very comforting.   My mom really did forget who I am.  But our God never does!  He really did engrave us on the palms of His hands.  That’s what happened on the cross.  Nails were driven through His hands and His feet into the cross.  He went through that for you, for me, and for my mom.  He died to pay for our sins.  He rose again that we might live with Him forever.  Even now the marks of those nails are there in His hands… our names engraved in His palms forever.  “I will not forget you,” is His promise.

And He did not forget mom.  You see even when she had forgotten everything else, she still knew Him.  One of my most vivid memories comes from just two weeks before her death.. It was a day when I sat with her and decided to pray the Lord’s Prayer with her.  Much to my joy and surprise, she prayed it right along with me.  She still had her faith.  More importantly, He still had her.  He remembered her.  That’s what happened on the day she died.  Jesus remembered her.  He kept His promises.  He took her home.  That’s why, even though it brings tears when I remember mom… they are good tears.  For not only do my sisters and I remember her and love her.  More importantly our God remembers her too… remembers her and loves her forever.  He also remembers you.  He also remembers me.  Amen.