Gifts of the Crucified Shepherd - A Quiet Heart

"He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul."

Psalm 23:2-3a

  

He first noticed that he was getting tired easily.  Then it seemed like he was worn out all day long. Then, as he tells the story, he started to be able to hear his heart beat.  That kind of scared him.  However he still didn’t want to go check it out.  He had too much to do.  He was too busy.  He decided all these symptoms must mean he was getting out of shape.  If he just worked out more… got his body in shape – he would feel better.  That just made matters worse.  Finally, he had to go to the doctor.  They put him into the hospital.  He was anemic.  His body wasn’t producing enough red blood cells.  Working his heart harder was the last thing he should have done.  He needed a quiet heart.  

I think that is also how we often react when things are troubling us.  So many things can trouble our hearts – worry, fear, guilt, grief.  The list can be a long one.  Often our reaction to those things is to make ourselves busier. That way we won’t have to think about it.  The person grieving a loved one’s death will keep themselves busy in an effort to avoid the pain.  Then there is the  person struggling with some addiction in his life.  Instead of seeking help he simply resolve to try harder.  Surely he can stop himself. That just makes matters worse. The cycle of addiction is allowed to continue. How many of you when you are worried, try to get your mind off it by distracting yourself with some other activity?   Yet often the worry doesn’t go away. It just eats away at you.  You can’t focus. . 

As someone once said to me, “I have tried to keep busy but that doesn’t make the hurt go away.  I am tired of staying so busy.  I need some quiet moments.”  That is so true.  Yes sometimes we do need to keep busy.  Its no use wallowing in self-pity.  Its also no use trying to avoid our pain    Even Jesus needed time alone… time to quiet His heart.  The Bible tells us that Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.  The night before naming his 12 disciples Jesus went out to a mountainside to pray, and spent the night praying to God.”  In today’s reading from the passion, overwhelmed with the burden of sin He was about to bear, Jesus first went off to pray.  He invited His friends to come and support him.  “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death.  Stay here and keep watch with me.  There in prayer He poured out the agony of His heart to God.  “If there be any other way, let this up pass from me.” He cried.  There He allowed His Father to quiet his troubled heart.  Nevertheless, not my will but Thy will be done!” 

I know sometimes you feel like you have no where to go with your troubled heart.  Who can you burden with your worries and fears? This Shepherd Jesus, that’s who!  The burdens that overwhelmed His soul… that he carried to the cross – are yours and mine.  “He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering. Like one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not. Surely he took up our infirmities and carried our sorrows, yet we considered him stricken by God, smitten by him, and afflicted.  But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed.”  On the cross he carried all your worries, all your fears, all your grief, all your guilt to bring us peace. He was wounded to heal our wounds.

Now having been raised to life again, he invites us to come to Him. Our crucified Shepherd seeks to give to you and me the gift of a quiet heart. That’s meaning of today’s verses from the 23^rd Psalm.  He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul.  Beside the quiet waters of prayer… in the green pastures of His Word, He lifts the burden and restores our souls. He invites us, “Come unto me all you that are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”  “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you.  I do not give to you as the world gives.  Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”  There are so many ways to come to him… in prayer… in His word… In worship… seeking out the listening ear of  a pastor, a friend, a counselor.  He invites us to bring what ever it is that troubles us;.  He forgives any and every sin.  He has carried every burden.  Whatever it is He has already taken it in His hands… already taking to the cross.  Already triumphed over it by His Easter victory.  His wound heal our wounds.  He can quiet our hearts with His peace.

 A friend once asked me what picture comes to mind when I think about grace.  Well I picture my dad when my kids were crying, screaming babies.  He would pick them up and carry them… rock them in his arms… whisper in their ears…. Shhhhhh…. Shhhhhhh… until their cries quieted… their eyes closed… and they fell asleep…  That’s what our shepherd does. He invites us to come to lay down in His green pastures…  He invites us to rest besides the quiet waters.  He picks us up.  He listens to our cries….   “Shhh!”  He says, “Shhh.  I’ve got you.    Rest now in me!  Amen!

My Father's Love

“As a father has compassion on his children

So the LORD has compassion on those who fear Him;”

Psalm 103:13 (NIV)

My greatest fear growing up was of my father dying.  Sometimes, as a child, I would lie in bed, and the thought of life without him would terrify me.  Who would take care of me… feed me… pay taxes… provide a house?  Who else would love me and be proud of me the way he was?  My dad loved me… loved all my sisters and me.  And we all loved him.  He was a quiet man.  He and I could ride for hours in his pickup truck, not say anything and be perfectly happy in each other’s company. Dad didn’t often say “I love you.”  But he showed it.  He always wanted me around – at bowling league, at golf league, at work.   I loved going to work with him as a child and working for him as a teen. When I became a Pastor those roles switched.  When they came to visit dad went to every worship service on every Sunday.  He wanted to be a part of everything at the churches where I served.  He showed his love and his pride in his kids.  Dad loved children and they loved him.  Kids were naturally drawn to him.  He could take a screaming baby; walk him or her around mumbling softly to them.  In moments that baby would be sound asleep. He was always wrestling with me and my buddies.  He had crazy, nonsensical sayings that he would repeat to us kids again and again.  Every time we laughed.  Every time his grandkids laughed.  Dad gave me my work ethic.  He taught me to golf, to bowl, to love the Chicago Cubs and Bears.  He even taught me some very important lessons about being a Pastor. I was scared to death of the day when he would die.

If you can’t tell – I adored my father.  He was my hero.  He still is.  Lois and Kathy would say the same.  Yes I know in my brain that he wasn’t perfect, but still today in my heart I see him as someone who could do no wrong, who could fix anything, do anything. My fervent prayer has always been that I would be just like him… my deepest desire that my children would love me the way I loved him.  However, I am not near as patient as he was.  I have been more selfish… have had a sharp temper… strong opinions (where those traits come from is not the point but I bet my sisters know).  I imagine dad would set me straight about his true faults and failings.   But alas… how could I ever measure up to him?  And once again, how would I ever get along without dad?

Then it happened. 20 years ago, on Feb. 24^th 1996 my father had a massive heart attack and died.  I was standing there with mom, right next to him.  I can see it all happen, moment by moment, as he passed from this life. It is my most vivid memory. It was the hardest day of my life.  I have missed him every day since.  Yet here I am 20 years later.  I have survived and thrived.  Why? Because the most important thing my dad passed on to me, is how much my Father in heaven loves me.  Dad did that by taking me to church, teaching me about our God and Savior, but most of all Dad did it the same way he let us know he loved us.  He showed me God’s love by the way he loved me.  That’s the point of this verse from Psalm 103.  “As a father has compassion on his children so the LORD has compassion on those who fear Him…”  Who took care of me, watched over me, provided for me after my dad died?  Well the simple answer is that my heavenly Father has taken care of me all these years.  He helped me and healed me as I grieved.  He has been there as we moved to Wisconsin, back to Texas and now to Germany.  He has blessed Linda and me with homes, food and clothing, jobs, our wonderful children, with wonderful daughter and son in laws, five grandchildren.  He has given us each other.  In fact, He has always been the one.  Even when my dad was alive it was my Father in heaven taking care of me.  It was He who gave me my dad.

You see that is the ultimate purpose of being a father – to show your children by your love how God the Father loves them.  I love my children and grandchildren… and they love me.  But it is far more important that they know that God loves them, so much that He gave His own Son that they might be His children.  Far more important than how my children feel about me or how yours feel about you… is that they believe in and love our Father in heaven and His Son Jesus Christ.  So I stand here today, so grateful for the love my dad shared with me… grateful that he taught me about and showed me God’s love… Grateful that our children and grandchildren know, believe in and love God.  That’s the purpose of a fathers love – to show the Father’s love.  Thanks Dad.  I miss you.  I can’t wait to see you again. 

Gifts from the Crucified Shepherd - Contentment

Psalm 23:1

“The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.”

We were riding around in his pickup truck.  Jimmy was giving us a tour of his ranch.   As we drove along we heard one his cows just bellowing away.  It turned out that one of her calves was trapped in the fence.  The calf had one leg and her head tangled between two sharp pieces of barbed wire. Why?    The calf had been trying to eat the grass on the other side of the fence.  There was plenty of grass on his side but for some reason that just wasn’t good enough. 

What a picture that provides of our sinful condition.  It started with our first parents, Adam and Eve.  Think about it. God had provided them with more than they would ever need.  The only thing he withheld from them was the fruit from one tree - on the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. The could have everything else.  Somehow that wasn’t enough.  They just had to have that forbidden fruit.  After all, the fruit of that other tree looked “good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom.”  Eat that fruit, the devil told them, and “You will be like God, knowing good from evil!”  They gave up the contentment of the life God had provided.  They stuck their head through that barbed wire fence…They had to have that greener grass. They wanted to be like God Himself.  Instead they  got a life that could never satisfy… a hole in their lives that they were powerless to fill… a life that yielded thorns and thistles, pain and struggle.  Instead of divinity, they ended up with the ashes of death. . 

You and I are no different.  Again and again we stick our heads through that barbed wire.  Again and again we covet the grass on the other side. That same spirit of ingratitude works in your heart and mine – every time we turn up our noses because we’re having meatloaf not steak… every time we feel envy because someone else got chosen not us… every time we covet our neighbor’s newer gadget…  That’s what is going on with every spouse that commits adultery… Every time we think – if only I had a bigger house… if only I made more money… if only I got my way – then I would be happy.  Yet every time we get whatever it is we think we have to have – the hunger isn’t satisfied… the  thirst isn’t quenched.  Enough is always more.  Why?  Because the hole in your life and mine is a hole only God can fill.  Without him we are trapped in the barbed wire.  The greener grass is always out of reach. 

As soon as Jimmy saw the calf he stopped the truck.  He put on some gloves.  While himself getting cut up and scratched by the barbed wire, he freed the calf.  “That’s what Shepherds do.  That’s what our shepherd did.  Actually he did more than that.  He who was the Lord of Heaven and earth, took to himself the dust and ashes of our flesh.  Although He was God Himself, Jesus “did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing…”  The shepherd came into this world to free us from the barbed wire of sin and death.  It cost Him more than a few cuts and bruises.  To free us our Lord Jesus had to carry the full weight of our sin.  He had to give up everything, even His life for you and me.  He did all that because He loves the world.  “I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep.  That’s what Jesus did.  Then on the third day, having carried our emptiness to the cross, He filled that emptiness with life.  He rose from the dead.  He took up His life so that you and I might have life and have it abundantly.”

Then He came looking for you and me, His lost sheep.   In the waters of baptism… on the day that faith was born in our hearts, He freed you and me from the barbed wire.  He cleansed the wounds of sin, healed them with His forgiveness.  He filled the God shape hole in your life and mine.  He filled it with His Spirit… His life… His love.  Contentment you see is a gift of God.  It. is never a matter of how much you have or don’t have.  Contentment is the fruit of faith that knows that in Christ God has hold of you…the faith that knows that whichever side of the fence you are on, the Good Shepherd will take care of you.  Contentment is the gift of the crucified Shepherd.  Paul describes it like this.  “I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.”

This side of heaven the struggle with greed goes on.  That day that Jimmy pulled the calf free I asked him, “Has he learned his lesson?” “Probably not,” Jimmy replied.  “But I will set him free again tomorrow.”  Isn’t that what our shepherd does every day, every time we stick our head back through that fence, every time we cry out, confessing our sins?  He pulls us free, free once again… again and again – because that’s how much He loves us, that’s the kind of shepherd He is. 

I love a story I heard along time again about a little boy in a Sunday school program.  It truly describes our Lord’s gift of contentment..  His part in the program was to speak the first verse of the 23^rd Psalm.  “The Lord is my shepherd,” He began.  Then he stopped.  He couldn’t remember what came next.  The teacher whispered to him, “I shall not want.”  The boy just stood there.  “I shall not want,” she whispered again..  He still couldn’t hear her.  “I SHALL NOT WANT.”  At last a big smile spread across his face.  This time He had it.  Now with a voice that was loud and clear He said his part.  “The Lord is my shepherd – That’s all I want.”  Amen!

The Ashes Don't Lie

Genesis 3:19b (ESV)

“For you are dust and to dust you shall return…”

Ash Wednesday, the beginning of the season of Lent, is a very solemn day.  On this day, year after year, Christians all over the world go to church to be marked on their foreheads with ashes.  As a Pastor I have led congregation through this ritual for over 30 years now.  Why do we do this?  Well the ashes are a reminder of our sin, a reminder of the curse that hangs over every single one of us because of sin.  The ashes are a call to repent, to confess our sins and seek God’s mercy..  Normally, when a person comes forward on Ash Wednesday, the Pastor takes some ashes on his thumb or finger, marks the persons forward with those ashes in the shape of a cross and repeats these words – “For you are dust and to dust you shall return…”  Those are the words that God spoke to Adam and Eve in Genesis 3 after they sinned.  They announce to all of us the consequences of our sin.  Our sin undoes life.  It brings death to all.  As we were made from the dust of the earth, even so when we die our bodies return to the earth.  Our bodies become dust once more.

The ashes don’t lie.  Every gravestone behind me is proof of that.  We will all die.  We will all return to dust.  Just how true the ashes are became a reality to me on an Ash Wednesday 20 years ago.  My parents had been living near us in Texarkana for about 8 months.  That night dad and mom were in attendance at worship.  They both came forward.  I can see myself putting the ashes on my dad’s head.  “For you are dust and to dust you shall return…”  Little did I know that this would be the last time I would be in worship with my dad.  This would be the last time I would give him Holy Communion.  Three days later, on Saturday morning my dad died.  The words of Ash Wednesday suddenly became all too real.  “You are dust and to dust you shall return.”   The ashes don’t lie.

Death comes to all of us.  It comes in God’s timing, not ours.  That’s a fact that we dare not take for granted.  None of us knows how much or how little time we have.  We need, as the Bible says, “to make the most of every opportunity…”    We need to live knowing that the ashes don’t lie.  When I have an argument with a family member or a friend, that thought intrudes on my mind.  I better go to them and be reconciled.   I may not have another chance.  It’s why whenever we get on an airplane, before I put my cell in airplane mode, I first text these words to our family - “I love you.”   It’s why a good friend, Al Senter, was in such a hurry to finish his online walk through the Bible called “What’s the message.”  He had been dying of heart disease for 15 years.  He really knew his time was coming.  He knew that the ashes don’t lie.  . 

Neither does the empty tomb.  Thank God that the ashes is only the first part of the message.  The rest of the message has to do with how God undoes the ashes.  What begins on Ash Wednesday comes to a climax on Good Friday when Jesus dies for our sin and on Easter morning when Jesus rises again to conquer death.  Because of what Jesus did for us, the ashes are not the end of my dad’s story.  They are not the end of  your story or mine.  Easter complete the message.  The words “He is Risen” complete message.  Because of what Jesus did, the message that is begun on Ash Wednesday is completed by the words of hope that are spoken when we are laid to rest in the cemetery.  Listen to these words – “We now commit his body to the ground; earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust, in the sure and certain hope of the resurrection to eternal life through our Lord Jesus Christ, who will change our lowly bodies to be like His glorious body, by the power that enables Him to subdue all things to Himself.”  The ashes don’t lie.  But neither does the empty tomb of Jesus.  “Because He lives, we will live also.”  Have a blessed Lent. Amen. 

Remembering Mom

Isaiah 49:15–16a (ESV)

“Can a woman forget her nursing child, that she should 

have no compassion on the son of her womb?

Even these may forget, yet I will not forget you. 

Behold, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands…”

February is an interesting month for me and my sisters.  Both of our parents died in the month of February, albeit years apart.  As of this week, it is now four years since my mom died.  Each year as this week rolls around again, I cannot help but sit back and remember my mom.   

She was in many ways a contradiction.  On the one hand she could at times be very harsh and critical.  For her the glass was often half empty.  She worried a lot, about everything.  She had a temper.  We as her kids were probably more aware of that than maybe others were.  At the same time she had a lot of compassion.  One of my favorite memories of my mom is of the many nights she sat by my bed, rubbing my back, helping me relax and full asleep.  She could be very direct when we needed it.  I was in a really whiny mood one day until my mom, very abruptly told me, “Get that chip off your shoulder and quit feeling sorry for yourself.”  She was right and I knew it.  She also had great faith.  When dad died, it was her faith in Jesus that gave her the courage to face his death.  It was her faith that kept after me, “Wayne you need to talk about this.”   My oldest sister Bobbie lost her ability to speak and to hear and some cognitive ability when she was two years old.  Listen to words mom wrote to Bobbie at that time, “We are all so happy and thankful to God for so generously answering our prayers.  People have been praying for you in Colorado, in Florida, in Maine and in many other places.  If you ever doubt the power of God to heal through His instruments who are our doctors, please remember it is only by the grace of God and His divine guidance that you are still with your mom and dad and your sister who love you dearly and still pray for your complete recovery… Don’t let anyone tell you your hearing loss is a handicap darling.  It’s no worse than some of the things that mom and dad are lacking.  We all have difficulties and feeling sorry for ourselves doesn’t help… just be thankful for what you have.”

The hardest part about remembering my mom is the fact that at the end of her life, she couldn’t remember me.  She had a terrible disease called Alzheimer’s.  I remember how hard it was for Kathy and Lois, when they came for the 25^th anniversary of my ordination and mom didn’t remember them.  Oh she still knew she had daughters.  At the end she still knew she had a son.  She remembered my name was Wayne.  She just didn’t remember that it was me.  When she died, I felt as if Alzheimer’s had robbed me of the last years with mom.  There are things I wish I had talked to her about.  I have to admit, the fact that she had Alzheimer’s scares me.  Every time I can’t recall something, I worry, “Will that happen to me?” 

That’s why I find this verse from Isaiah 49 very comforting.   My mom really did forget who I am.  But our God never does!  He really did engrave us on the palms of His hands.  That’s what happened on the cross.  Nails were driven through His hands and His feet into the cross.  He went through that for you, for me, and for my mom.  He died to pay for our sins.  He rose again that we might live with Him forever.  Even now the marks of those nails are there in His hands… our names engraved in His palms forever.  “I will not forget you,” is His promise.

And He did not forget mom.  You see even when she had forgotten everything else, she still knew Him.  One of my most vivid memories comes from just two weeks before her death.. It was a day when I sat with her and decided to pray the Lord’s Prayer with her.  Much to my joy and surprise, she prayed it right along with me.  She still had her faith.  More importantly, He still had her.  He remembered her.  That’s what happened on the day she died.  Jesus remembered her.  He kept His promises.  He took her home.  That’s why, even though it brings tears when I remember mom… they are good tears.  For not only do my sisters and I remember her and love her.  More importantly our God remembers her too… remembers her and loves her forever.  He also remembers you.  He also remembers me.  Amen.