My Father's Love

“As a father has compassion on his children

So the LORD has compassion on those who fear Him;”

Psalm 103:13 (NIV)

My greatest fear growing up was of my father dying.  Sometimes, as a child, I would lie in bed, and the thought of life without him would terrify me.  Who would take care of me… feed me… pay taxes… provide a house?  Who else would love me and be proud of me the way he was?  My dad loved me… loved all my sisters and me.  And we all loved him.  He was a quiet man.  He and I could ride for hours in his pickup truck, not say anything and be perfectly happy in each other’s company. Dad didn’t often say “I love you.”  But he showed it.  He always wanted me around – at bowling league, at golf league, at work.   I loved going to work with him as a child and working for him as a teen. When I became a Pastor those roles switched.  When they came to visit dad went to every worship service on every Sunday.  He wanted to be a part of everything at the churches where I served.  He showed his love and his pride in his kids.  Dad loved children and they loved him.  Kids were naturally drawn to him.  He could take a screaming baby; walk him or her around mumbling softly to them.  In moments that baby would be sound asleep. He was always wrestling with me and my buddies.  He had crazy, nonsensical sayings that he would repeat to us kids again and again.  Every time we laughed.  Every time his grandkids laughed.  Dad gave me my work ethic.  He taught me to golf, to bowl, to love the Chicago Cubs and Bears.  He even taught me some very important lessons about being a Pastor. I was scared to death of the day when he would die.

If you can’t tell – I adored my father.  He was my hero.  He still is.  Lois and Kathy would say the same.  Yes I know in my brain that he wasn’t perfect, but still today in my heart I see him as someone who could do no wrong, who could fix anything, do anything. My fervent prayer has always been that I would be just like him… my deepest desire that my children would love me the way I loved him.  However, I am not near as patient as he was.  I have been more selfish… have had a sharp temper… strong opinions (where those traits come from is not the point but I bet my sisters know).  I imagine dad would set me straight about his true faults and failings.   But alas… how could I ever measure up to him?  And once again, how would I ever get along without dad?

Then it happened. 20 years ago, on Feb. 24^th 1996 my father had a massive heart attack and died.  I was standing there with mom, right next to him.  I can see it all happen, moment by moment, as he passed from this life. It is my most vivid memory. It was the hardest day of my life.  I have missed him every day since.  Yet here I am 20 years later.  I have survived and thrived.  Why? Because the most important thing my dad passed on to me, is how much my Father in heaven loves me.  Dad did that by taking me to church, teaching me about our God and Savior, but most of all Dad did it the same way he let us know he loved us.  He showed me God’s love by the way he loved me.  That’s the point of this verse from Psalm 103.  “As a father has compassion on his children so the LORD has compassion on those who fear Him…”  Who took care of me, watched over me, provided for me after my dad died?  Well the simple answer is that my heavenly Father has taken care of me all these years.  He helped me and healed me as I grieved.  He has been there as we moved to Wisconsin, back to Texas and now to Germany.  He has blessed Linda and me with homes, food and clothing, jobs, our wonderful children, with wonderful daughter and son in laws, five grandchildren.  He has given us each other.  In fact, He has always been the one.  Even when my dad was alive it was my Father in heaven taking care of me.  It was He who gave me my dad.

You see that is the ultimate purpose of being a father – to show your children by your love how God the Father loves them.  I love my children and grandchildren… and they love me.  But it is far more important that they know that God loves them, so much that He gave His own Son that they might be His children.  Far more important than how my children feel about me or how yours feel about you… is that they believe in and love our Father in heaven and His Son Jesus Christ.  So I stand here today, so grateful for the love my dad shared with me… grateful that he taught me about and showed me God’s love… Grateful that our children and grandchildren know, believe in and love God.  That’s the purpose of a fathers love – to show the Father’s love.  Thanks Dad.  I miss you.  I can’t wait to see you again.