Sports - the Great Healer? Really?

“For He Himself is our peace, who has made the two one and has destroyed the barrier, the dividing wall of hostility, by abolishing in His flesh the law with its commandments and regulations.  His purpose was to create in Himself one new man out of the two, thus making peace and in this one body to reconcile both of them to God through the cross, by which He put to death their hostility.”

Ephesians 2:14-16

I love sports.  Anyone who knows me, knows that I am an avid Chicago Cubs fan.   Even though they are once again, not very good, I am a faithful fan of the Chicago Bears football fan.  I root for the Nebraska Cornhuskers in College football.  As a young kid I loved playing baseball and football.  I still play golf.  One of my favorite things when my boys were little was to go to their soccer, or baseball or basketball games. Now it’s the grandkids.  I love sports.

However, I read something the other day, that reminded me that for some people sports is more than just entertainment.  I was reading an article online in which someone was objecting to American Football players using the game to make political points.  The author objected to sports becoming a part of the political divide in America. The author wrote, “Leave sports alone to do what it does best – bring people together and heal our divisions.”  Really? I thought.  That’s what sports does best?  That’s not my experience.  As a kid we had knockdown, drag out fights with friends over who was best – the Cubs or the White Sox.  In the one professional soccer game I attended here in Frankfurt – they keep the most rabid fans for the opposing teams in fenced off parts of the stadiums on opposite sides of the field.  I think this might be part of making sure they don’t get violent with each other.  In America, on Super Bowl Sunday, incidents of physical abuse in the home sky rocket.  Sports is not in the business of bringing people together.  Sports is in the business of entertaining through competition and by creating rivalries among different fans.  

Strange thing -  when I am caring for a couple in a struggling marriage I don’t tell them they should sit down and watch more sports together. No I point them to the One whose heart is all about reconciliation… the One who came to this world to break down dividing walls and heal divisions.  I point them… I would point you to Jesus Christ. Listen to what Paul wrote about Jesus.  “For He Himself is our peace, who has made the two one and has destroyed the barrier, the dividing wall of hostility, by abolishing in His flesh the law with its commandments and regulations.  His purpose was to create in Himself one new man out of the two, thus making peace and in this one body to reconcile both of them to God through the cross, by which He put to death their hostility.”

St. Paul wrote to Timothy, “There is one God and one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus, who gave Himself as a ransom for all men.”  As the one who is both God and man in one person Jesus is the perfect bridge between God and man… and between us and one another.  He is so different from American football players who win victories by violently bashing their bodies against each other.   No Jesus ends our hostility toward God and one another – but allowing God’s wrath over sin and our hostility towards each other to be directed towards Him.  That’s happened on the cross.  “My God, My God why hast Thou forsaken Me?” He cried out as God punished Him there.   “Father forgive them,” He prayed for all of us – as every bit of racism, hatred, envy, and spite that we harbor towards each other was on that cross directed at Him.   When the stone was rolled away on Easter morning and the angels cried out “He is Risen!” -  in that moment the dividing walls of hostility that divide us from God and each other were all torn down.

Corrie Ten Boom, a Christian who suffered greatly in a Nazi concentration camp, went around after the war telling the world about how God took care of her even at that worst moment of her life.  After speaking one night a man came up to speak to her.  She immediately recognized him as one of the guards from the concentration camp.  She felt only loathing and anger.  But then the man reached out his hand to ask her to forgive him.  At first she could not bring herself to do it.  She hated him.  But then, she wrote, she turned to Jesus in prayer.  “Help me Lord.  Change my heart to love and forgive this man as You have.”  And Jesus answered.  And with His help, she reached out to accept that man’s hand and forgive him in her heart.

So go ahead and enjoy sports.  But when it comes to relationships, let Jesus do what He does best – bring us together and heal our divisions.  Amen.  

Have You ever been "Wall - Dogged?"

The Devil “has no truth in him.  When he lies he speaks out of his own character,

For he is a liar and the father of lies.”

John 8:44b

Today I will test your powers of observation.  I wonder how many of you, watching my blog videos ever noticed this dog up on the top shelf behind me.    This is “wall dog.”  Let me tell you his story.  When we were in Flower Mound, every Christmas we were invited to the Christmas Party of one of the small groups.  As part of that party people brought gifts to exchange.  When the time came for the exchange, people would take a number.  When your number came up you could either pick a gift from the pile of gifts, or steal a gift from someone who already picked theirs.  These gifts could be really nice gifts or “white elephant” gifts. “White-elephant” gifts were all wrapped up and looked just like the nice gifts.  But no one really wanted them.  If you got a white elephant gift – no one would ever steal it.   Wall Dog is the perfect example of a elephant gift.  It was such a great white elephant gift that people kept bringing it back to give away at each succeeding Christmas Party.  People would go to great lengths to disguise this gift, so that people would pick it without knowing they were picking it.  I made a whole photo book about Wall Dog.  Then I wrapped up the book. When someone unwrapped the book, they also then got the dog.  Such people had been “wall dogged.”  They had been led to believe a lie – that they were getting a wonderful gift but instead they got this dog.  I was the last person to get “wall dogged.”  Our first Christmas here in Germany I unwrapped a big box from the states only to find Wall Dog inside. 

Have you ever been “wall dogged?”  Have you ever been promised one thing, then when you got whatever it was, it turned out to be a lie?   One example that comes to mind was Bethany’s first car.  We bought it used for her to take to College in Wisconsin.  It looked like a great little used car. The dealer said it was a great little car.  It ran fine at the dealership.  However that whole year in Wisconsin, that car gave her nothing but trouble.  Every time she turned around it was breaking down.  I believe we had been “wall-dogged.”

My friends, I am sure you have wall-dogged too.  I know that we all have.  If you have ever given in to temptation, which all of us have, then you have been “wall dogged.”  That’s the very definition of what the temptation to sin is.  In the temptation you are promised something wonderful but that promise turns out to be a lie.   Adam and Eve were tempted with the idea that they could be like God.  What they ended up with was separation, frustration, pain and death.    Many people get tempted to get a divorce with the promise of happiness, only to have that decision inflict all sorts of unhappiness on all sorts of people whom they love, including themselves.  We are tempted to lie, with the promise that the lie will keep us out of trouble, only to find ourselves trapped in a web of deceit as one lie leads to another and then another.    Every temptation is a wall dog, a lie because the tempter, the devil himself, is the greatest “Wall Dogger.” Jesus warns us of this in John 8 - The Devil “has no truth in him.  When he lies he speaks out of his own character,   For he is a liar and the father of lies.”

How much better are the promises of God!   He will never “wall-dog” you.   Jesus declared, “I am the way, the TRUTH and the life…”   God is the very essence of truth.  He keeps His promises.  He promised an offspring to Adam and Eve who would crush the serpents head.  He promised that through one of Abraham’s descendants all the nations of the world would be blessed.  He promised David a son who would have an eternal throne.  He promised Israel a child who could be born of a virgin, a child who would be “Immanuel” which means “God with us.”  He promised them a Shepherd who would be born in Bethlehem.  He promised them a savior who “would be wounded for our transgressions.”  On and on the promises of God are given again and again in the Bible.   In the birth, life, death and resurrection of Jesus Christ, God keeps every one of them. 

God will never “wall dog” you.   For “no matter how many promises God has made they are all yes Christ.  And so the Amen is spoken by us to the glory of God the Father.”     There is no deceit or lie in Him.  That’s why when tempted by the devil’s lies, the best place to turn is where Jesus turned when He was tempted.  The best place to turn is to the truth of God’s Word.  After all Jesus promised, “If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth and the truth will set you free.”  Amen! 

I Don't Know What to Say When Someone Dies

“Brothers, we don’t want you to be ignorant about those who fall asleep, 

or grieve like the rest of men

Who have no hope. We believe that Jesus died and rose again and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in Him.”

2 Thessalonians 4:13-14

This week, I have run across two very moving posts by friends on Facebook.  Both were about very personal and difficult grief.  One man was writing about an old college friend who died of cancer, and the other man wrote about his grief following the sudden loss of his adult son.  Whenever I see such posts I struggle to know how to respond or if I should.  What could I write that would make any difference?  Should I press the “like” option with the thumbs up or the “sad” option with the crying face?  This is not a struggle that is unique to me.  Over 30 some years of ministry I have heard this again and again.  Someone is going to visit a grieving friend but they are uncomfortable.  “Pastor,” they will say to me, “I don’t know what to say.”

I thought today, I might offer some thoughts about that.  I am no expert. What I offer in this blog is simply what I have learned from being a Pastor and from my own personal experiences of grief.  I hope these thoughts might in some way be helpful. 

The biggest thing I have learned is that being present is what is important, not so much what you say.  Years ago, I was called to the side of a young wife who had just found out that her husband had been killed by a drunk driver.  I doubt very much if she remembers anything I said to her that day.  What mattered most is that I was there.  When my sister died, I remember how much it meant to me that so many of my friends showed up at the funeral.  When we did my dad’s committal in my hometown, once again it was the fact that so many of my old friends came.  Their presence was a comfort.  It says, you care enough to take time to be there. 

Be comfortable being quiet!  That’s far more important than talking.  Sometimes they will just want to sit there and say nothing.  That’s okay.  Silence can be important.  Sometimes, they will want to talk.  While they do, they may laugh or they may cry.  Let them.  Listen. Listening often communicates more love and care than any word you might say.  Listening shows that you are interested in them, in what’s going on in their hearts.

Use your love language and seek to speak theirs.  Mine is affirmation.  People telling me how much they loved my dad or my mom, meant a lot.  One pastor came to shine my shoes for the trip north.  Service was his love language.  On the day of my mom’s death, our church music director posted a beautiful piece of music to my Facebook page – “E’en So Lord Jesus Quickly come” by Paul Manz.  I cried as I listened to the beautiful words.  It really helped.  Music was his love language.

Remember, even if you have lost someone yourself, you can empathize but you really don’t know how they feel.  So don’t pretend to.  It’s okay.  Even though I had lost my dad, I learned very quickly that I didn’t really understand what Linda was going through when her mom died.  She had her own unique experience of grief as daughter who had lost her mother.  My job was simply love her as best I could. 

Giving permission is also important.  What I mean is - don’t tell people how they should or shouldn’t feel.  People will feel all sorts of different emotions – sadness, depression, guilt, anger.  They need to feel those emotions.  They need to cry.  It helps.  Don’t suddenly decide that they should be through with their grief.  Everybody grieves at their own pace.  One person, knowing I had lost my dad, asked if the grief and pain every goes away.  I said, “No.  My dad’s death still hurts.  I still miss Him.  You just get used to it.”  It’s true. It’s been 22 years since my father died and I teared up again this morning.

As the days, weeks, and months go by, don’t be afraid to talk about the one who died with your grieving friend.  Nothing hurts worse than when people stop talking about them, stop mentioning them.  You feel like everyone has forgotten someone that you never want to forget.  Yes, when you mention their loved one’s name, they may cry.  It’s okay.  They want to talk about their friend or their dad or whomever.  They love hearing your stories and knowing that their loved one mattered to you too. 

Finally, have confidence in the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  The good news of Christ’s resurrection and victory over death makes all the difference in the world.    Yes I still grieve and miss my dad, but what joy and comfort there is in knowing that because of Jesus I will see him again in heaven! Indeed the death of a loved brings home the importance of faith more than any other event in life. Paul’s words to the Thessalonians are true -  “Brothers, we don’t want you to be ignorant about those who fall asleep, or grieve like the rest of men who have no hope. We believe that Jesus died and rose again and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in Him.”

In other words, don’t worry about what to say.  Just love your grieving friend.  Amen. 

Is Any Place Safe?

“You are a hiding place for me…”

Psalm 32:7a

I have, like many of you, been watching the news reports about the newest terrorist attack in New York City.  A man drove a truck down a bike path killing people as he went.  It’s become an all too familiar tale.  The same thing has happened on a bridge in London, on a beach in France, at a Christmas market in Germany. What’s more, it’s only a few short weeks ago that the awful massacre took place at a music festival in Las Vegas.  As I sat here watching the news reports, a horrible question crept into my mind – “Is anyplace safe?  Is there any place anymore where such things won’t happen? Is there any place left where such people would never attack?”  The reality in an age of terrorism seems to be, “No, every place is vulnerable.  Every place is a target.  There is no hiding place.”

But then I thought of King David’s words from Psalm 32:7.  “You are a hiding place for me; You preserve me from trouble; You surround me with songs of deliverance.”  Let me put those words in context.  Psalm 32 is a psalm of repentance.  David, as you know, had committed adultery, then tried to cover up his sin with murder.  His attempts to hide his sin didn’t work.  He only made himself more miserable.  “Day and night Your hand was heavy upon me; my strength was dried up as in the heat of summer.”  Only when he acknowledged his sin and confessed the truth to God, was the burden of guilt lifted.  Only in coming out of hiding, was David given a real hiding place for his sin – through the forgiveness and love of God.  That’s the only true hiding place for our sins.  God doesn’t deny our sin.  He pays the cost Himself with the death of His son.  He covers them over, hides them, if you will, with the blood of His Son shed for us.  Our God is the only safe place to go with our sin.

But what does that have to do with safety in an age of terrorism?  Well look again at the words of Psalm 32:7.  “You are a hiding place for me; You preserve me from trouble; You surround me with songs of deliverance.”  David is not limiting God to hiding our sin beneath His forgiving love.  He also is a hiding place who “preserves us from trouble.”    David is telling us that in every area of life, our God is the only truly safe place.  Do you recall the opening words of Psalm 46?  “God is our refuge and strength, an every present help in trouble.  Therefore we will not fear though the earth give way, though the mountains fall into the heart of the sea…” 

Does that mean that if you have faith bad things will never happen to you?  That what happened on that bike path to those innocent victims, could never happen to you?  No!  That’s not at all the meaning.  What David means is that no matter what happens – should we be spared or should we be injured – in either case God will keep us safe. Back in the 1970s there was a movie called “The Hiding Place.”  Yes, it took its title from these words in Psalm 32. It’s the story of Corrie Ten Boom and her sister.  During World War II, Corrie and her family tried to hide Jews in a concealed room in their home.  Eventually they got caught and were sent to a concentration camp where they were made to endure great suffering.  Corrie’s sister died in that camp.  Corrie survived and lived a long good life.  Was God only a hiding place for Corrie and not her sister?  No, He was a hiding place for both.  He preserved Corrie’s life and sent her around the world to tell people that no pit is so deep that God’s love is not deeper still.  He also preserved Corrie’s sister’s life, because nothing they did to her, even taking her life could take from her the eternal salvation Jesus had purchased for her and for us on the cross.

The last verse of Martin Luther’s famous hymn “A Mighty Fortress” expresses what I mean.  “The Word they still let remain nor any thanks have for it; He’s by our side upon the plain with His good gifts and Spirit.  And take they our life, goods, fame, child and wife, though these all be gone, they yet have nothing won; the kingdom ours remaineth!” 

Is any place safe?  Ultimately, in this life and in eternity – only Him.  But He is enough!  Amen.