The Golden Rule

Matthew 7:12

“So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.

It’s one of the rules that your parents taught you.  In fact, it comes from Jesus.  It’s called “the golden rule.”  Matthew 7:12.  So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.

There is a danger with this verse– the danger of taking these words out of context.  I googled this question – What does the Golden rule mean?  One person equated it with Karma… giving good vibes to people. Another said, “Be nice to people so that one day they might be nice back to you.”  “Be nice to others so that they will like you and not hate you.”  Another said, “Generally I try to live by this rule but if the other guy is being a jerk – in that case I return the favor.  I believe in the Golden rule, not turning the other cheek.”  “It means be nice and don’t give others a reason to hurt you. Be nice first.  It throws them off their game… If you are mean to others, they will be mean to you.  If you are kind to others, you will get kindness back.”  “It means if you can’t take it don’t dish it out.  But if you can take it, then go ahead.”  All of these are wrong. They all involve putting you and what you will get at the center of whatever kindness you do or don’t do to others.  That’s not what Jesus meant.

It doesn’t work to take these words of out of context.  Listen to the promises Jesus makes in verse 7-11.  “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened.  Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent?  If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!  Seek out our heavenly Father because He is the Father who is ready to be found. He is eager to answer and to give.  Jesus compares our heavenly Father’s generosity with our desire to give good gifts to our kids.  If we want to give only the best to our kids, how much more can we count on the generosity of our heavenly Father who for us gave His own Son? 

It’s in that context that Jesus says, So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them…  With the word “so” Jesus connects seeking out our giving God to how we are to treat others.  Because of who God is, because we can depend on His love and care and generosity, we are freed to treat others the way we hope to be treated. 

Apart from God’s generosity our love for others will always come with strings attached.  That’s what you hear in those misunderstandings of the Golden Rule.  Think about it – are you kind to others because you have a need to be liked and approved?    One of my fears in moving to Germany was that my kids would discover that they could get along without me.  That begs the question – Is that why I did nice things for them – because of my need to be needed by them?   When people don’t always like us or agree with everything is that why we are at times so quick to judge others?  Are we asking something from them that only God can do?  It is hard sometimes to be gracious towards other people.  We want them to make the first good move.  They were wrong first.  They should apologize first. Then we will do so to them also.  We want a guarantee that our treating them nicely will lead to something good for us. 

That’s why Jesus puts the golden rule in the context of God’s unconditional, no strings attached love for us.  Our heavenly Father gave His Son to us and for us knowing that we could not give back to Him.  By His death and resurrection Jesus purchased for us a salvation that is whole and free…  one for which we can never repay Him.  He made it yours and mine in baptism – for free, no strings attached.  We aren’t dependent on their need for us… on whether or not they love us or like us or approve of us.  We have all the love, all the acceptance, all the approval and grace and forgiveness we need in our God and Savior.  When we know that we have a God who is watching over us… We are free to treat others the way we want to be treated. whether or not they actually treat us that way in return.  God knows the truth about us and loves us anyway.  We don’t need to build ourselves us up by condemning someone else… We are freed from needing everyone else’s love and approval… because we already have God’s approval for free in Christ.  When all our strings are attached to Jesus  then finally we are free to love one another with no strings attached.  Amen.