Your Words Have Power

Ephesians 4:29

^“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”

It wasn’t until I moved to Germany that I realized how much of American humor is sarcasm.  We poke fun at each other with sarcasm all the time.  In Germany though I soon discovered that such humor was lost on people, often misunderstood, even perhaps perceived as being mean and hurtful speech.  The impact was that I started listening to myself.  I soon discovered that the speech I intended to be funny was often in fact biting and perhaps even mean.   Now don’t get me wrong.  This blog today is not about changing our American sense of humor.  I am not advocating doing away with sarcasm. 

I am advocating that we stop ourselves before we speak and ask – Will what I am saying be helpful or harmful?  In our reading this week for staff Ole Hallesby made the comment, “It’s easy to criticize leaders.  After the thing is done, everybody is wise. Then we all see how it should have been done.  Beforehand no one sees what ought to be done, but that is just when leaders must act.  Let us pray for leaders rather than criticizing them.”  Think about how easily critical thoughts enter your thoughts.  Think about how quickly they escape your lips, before you have considered the impact of what you are saying.  Consider how easily you join in gossiping about someone.  James was right in his letter, “The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.”  Careless words of criticism and biting sarcasm can do great harm to others and to our relationships.

Now don’t misunderstand.  I am not saying that we should never be critical of what others may be doing or saying.  Our Lord speaks critical words of law into our lives, words that call us to account for sin and error.  However, He speaks those words to help us.  He speaks those words because He desires us to turn from sin. He speaks those words because more than anything He desires to speak words of forgiveness and grace to us.  He desires to let us know that He loves us.  He speaks the truth in love – the whole truth – Law and Gospel, because He wants to build up and bless.

So let me share some ways in which our speech can be shaped by His.  Paul lays it out for us in his words in Ephesians 4.  Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.   Before you speak, ask yourself your reason for speaking.  Are you trying to harm someone?  Are you speaking out of anger or hate?  Sometimes, I know that I am guilty of trying to build myself up by tearing down someone else.  Or are you trying to build someone up – maybe help them to laugh at themselves, or perhaps saving them from making some grave mistake, or maybe simply wishing to let them know you care?

Someone shared with me three questions to ask myself to know whether or not something is gossip.  Perhaps these three questions might apply to all the things we say to or about one another.  The first question is, “Is it true?”  Lies and half truths help no one.  Second, “is what I am about to say helpful to the other person?”  If I am just trying to help myself at someone else’s expense, or simply to impress people, then I should keep silent.  Finally, “does the person I am speaking to need to know or hear what I am sharing?”  If they don’t really need to know the information… or if they are only trying to satisfy their curiosity, then again I need to keep silent.  If the answer is a resounding yes to all three questions, then I can be reasonably certain that what I am about to say is wholesome and helpful.  However, if the answer to even one of those three questions is no, then I should say nothing.

Words have power.  Your words and mine have power to tear down or build up.  It would be better for all if our words would reflect the wonderful word of forgiveness and grace that God has spoken to us in the gift of His Son Jesus Christ – God’s word made flesh – full of grace and truth.