When Good Days Become Tough Days

2 Corinthians 1:3–4 (ESV)

³ Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, ⁴ who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.

My mind is on my sister Lois today.  Her husband Tim died a couple of months ago.  The reason I am thinking about this is that Facebook reminded me this morning that today would have been Tim’s birthday.  You know for most of us birthdays are days of celebration, a time to give gifts, to eat cake, and go out for dinner with the birthday boy.  But when that person dies, all that changes.  Good days - like birth days, anniversaries, holidays and the like – suddenly become tough days.  This is especially true during that first year after a loved one’s death.  After someone close dies you, of course, miss them every day.  But on the special days like a birthday or Christmas, your grief comes quite easily to the surface.  The pain of his or her death becomes even sharper.  This continues to some extent even after the first year.  Every year after my dad’s death, the month of February (the month of his death), became a really hard month for my mom.  Someone, who lost her mother, asked if you ever stopped hurting, stopped missing your loved one.  I replied, “No.  You just get used to it.”

So, what do you do when those tough days come?  Well if you are having a tough day, have a tough day.  Its no use denying your grief or putting on a brave face.  There is also no need to feel guilty if its not a tough day for you.  Don’t let anyone tell you how you should or shouldn’t feel.  There is nothing wrong with grieving.  St. Paul doesn’t tell us not to grieve.  He simply wants to be sure that we know that in our grief we have the hope won for us by Jesus dying and rising again.  So, go ahead and grieve.

For me, I would find a way to remember that person.  Look at pictures.  Call someone else who is also missing that other person – and share some memories.   I know one mom who lost a child shortly after birth.  Every year since, she still celebrates that child’s birthday. 

Folks, if you know someone is grieving, facing one of these tough days.  Don’t be afraid to reach out.  Share that you miss them too.  Use the name of the person that died.  Don’t be afraid of the other person’s tears.  It means a lot that you want to talk about him or her, that you remember, that you are willing to listen.   That’s what Paul is talking about in 2 Corinthians – “so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.”

This may sound strange – but one thing that I have found helps me and has helped others is to talk or write to the person you have lost.  As long as they don’t answer back, you aren’t crazy.  I like to do this when I go to my mom and dad’s grave alone.  I tell them about our kids, and grand kids, about all the things that have been happening in our lives.  I know they aren’t there.   You can’t send them any letter you might write.  But its okay to say out loud or write down all the things you would love to tell them if there were still alive.

Give yourself permission to feel whatever it is you feel.  If you cry, you cry.   If you laugh, you laugh.  Its been 23 years since my dad died and I am writing this blog with tears in my eyes.

Finally look forward.  Remember the heart of our comfort – that because of Jesus, His death for our sins and His resurrection victory over death – there is a grand reunion coming.  One day Jesus will come again to raise up me and all the dead and to give to all believers in Christ eternal life.  I can’t wait on that day to see my sister Roberta, my mom and dad and Tim, and so many others – as we stand rejoicing before God’s throne – singing His eternal praise.  On the tough days, remind yourself that God’s best day is still to come. 

Who Completes You?

Colossians 2:10a (NASB95)

“and in Him you have been made complete…”

There is a phrase that couples often say about each other that makes me cringe every time I hear it.

One spouse says about the other – “He or She completes me.”  Now you might think, “That’s such a nice thing to say.  Why does it make you cringe?”  Let me explain.

Its true that we are all incomplete in and of ourselves.  For one thing God said, “It is not good for man to be alone…”  God created us to live in community… to have relationships… to be a part of a family.  Yes, husbands and wives often complement each other – with their different skills, different personalities and so forth.  But think about this.  If you need a spouse to be complete – what about the single person?  Can’t they ever be complete.  No, the heart of our incompleteness, has to do with our relationship with God.  We are sinners.  We fall short of God’s glory.  Remember what happened as soon as Adam and Eve sinned.  For the first time ever, they hid from the Lord.  That’s the true source of incompleteness in every one of us.  Without God, we are incomplete.

So, what are we doing to our spouse when we say, “He or she completes me?”  We are setting them up to fail and disappoint us.  We are asking them to be what they cannot be, are not meant to be in our lives.  After all they can be a wonderful loving spouse, but they can never be God in our lives.  Indeed, that’s what we are doing to anyone or anything, other than the true God, in our lives. When we say, “If only I made more money… if only I could buy a new house… if only I had a different job, then everything would be wonderful – we are giving those things the place of God in our lives.  There is nothing wrong with making more money, buying a new house, or getting a new job, unless we start thinking that such things are the solution to all our problems.  Then those things are sure to disappoint us… sure to fail us. 

There is only One who can complete you or me.  There is only One who can bring you and me into a right relationship with God.  That one is Jesus.  In Him the gap between God and man is bridged. He is both.  He lived the perfect, God pleasing life we fail to live.  He offered that life in our place, as payment for our sin.  He rose again that we might live.  He came to you and me in baptism that we might be adopted into God’s family.  He comes daily to forgive our sins, to daily restore us to God.  That’s why Paul wrote of Jesus, “and in Him you have been made complete…”

Are you looking for completeness – look to Jesus.   He is the author and perfector of  your faith…” 

The Apostle John wrote in his first letter, God is light.  In Him there is no darkness at all. If we say we have fellowship with him while we walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth.   But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin.   When you are walking in Him… when you live by faith in Jesus… when God is your God… then all those other things and people – money, home, employment, husband, wife, family – are free to be what God intends them to be – blessings from God that enable you to live for Him and love those around you.

Who completes you?  Jesus.

Living For Life in a Culture of Death

“I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.”

John 10:10b

Senseless!  Terrible!  Evil! Terrifying!  I could think of more such words to describe what happened last week in El Paso and Dayton, and the week before that at the food festival in California… or in a far too many other places across our country.  Now I do not intend to get into the politics of all of this.  But there are a number of questions on my mind today – Why does this keep happening?  How do we stop it?  What’s the solution?  What can I do?

Other than the person actually committing these horrific acts, it doesn’t seem helpful to me to be pointing fingers and blaming this person or that person.  But is there blame?  Yes.  I believe that during my lifetime, something fundamental has changed at the very roots of our culture.  We have gone from being a culture that values life to what some might call a “culture of death.”  The signs are all around us.  The clearest to me is abortion -  the killing of the most defenseless among us – unborn babies. There is the rise of physician assisted suicide and Euthanasia.  The rise of suicide… Then add terrorism and war.  Mother Teresa’s words to the1994 national prayer breakfast ring far too true – “If we accept that the mother can kill even her own child, how can we tell other people not to kill one another?” 

Of course, the roots of this culture of death goes way back… all the way back to the garden. When in Adam and Eve, we all chose to take the forbidden fruit and eat it – we all together chose life estranged from God.  We all together chose death – for life without God is death. So really this culture of death is not new to my lifetime or yours.  “Therefore, just as sin came into the world through one man, and death through sin, and so death spread to all men because all sinned—”  

As horrible as these mass shootings are, the problem runs much deeper.  The problem has its roots in your heart and mine, in our own sinfulness.  That’s a problem government can’t solve.  Don’t get me wrong – it is the governments job to make laws, and enforce them in order to protect us. That’s not a political opinion – that’s Scripture.  This is how the Lord Himself defines the role of government in Romans 13:3–4: “For rulers are not a terror to good conduct, but to bad. Would you have no fear of the one who is in authority? Then do what is good, and you will receive his approval, for he is God’s servant for your good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for he does not bear the sword in vain. For he is the servant of God, an avenger who carries out God’s wrath on the wrongdoer.” Government’s God-given role is to hold man’s evil in check… to help protect us from ourselves.  That’s its power.  What government can’t do, is change our hearts.  It can’t solve the problem of sin.

For that, God gave us Jesus!  Jesus said it in the words from John 10 that I chose for this blog.  “I came that they may have life and have it abundantly”  Think about that – the author and creator of life, came to live in the midst of this world that keeps choosing death.   He came to live for life – healing the sick, casting out demons, feeding the hungry, befriending the friendless, embracing little children, forgiving sinners.  Jesus came and allowed this world of death to kill Him… to kill Him on behalf of everyone… to kill Him in our place.  Why?  “By His death He destroyed Him who holds the power of death, that is the devil and set free all who were held in slavery by their fear of death.”  He came to rise again so that all who believe in Him might have life.  By His death and resurrection Jesus conquered the culture of death that life might reign again.  Then He came to you in Baptism… raised you up to live a new life… to be apart of this new culture – or as St. Paul calls it – this “new creation.”

So what can you or I do?  How can we make a difference in the midst of all this senseless killing?  By following Jesus… living as He did – living for life in a culture of death.  What does that mean?  It means so many things – valuing human life in every form.  Speaking out to protect the unborn… loving and speaking forgiveness and grace to those burdened by guilt… befriending and caring for the ones the rest of the world rejects… praying so many different prayers… sharing the good news of Jesus with any and all – that others may know the joy of really living.  The list goes on and on.  But what I am really saying is this – don’t waste time pointing at others… waiting for others to solve this.  Let the change begin with me… and with you – with repentance for our own embrace of death… then loving others the way Jesus loves you.  This is how God changes things – one person at a time starting with you and me. 

What Can I Do for the Unity of the Church?

Ephesians 4:3 (NIV)

^“Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.”

The month of July was quite a month for me.  I had the privilege of attending two important events of the church body to which I belong (The Lutheran Church – Missouri Synod). Between  July 10 and 16 I attended the LCMS National Youth Gathering in Minneapolis.  I was there with 28 youth and adults from our congregation and with 21000 youth and adults from across the country.  For me the youth gathering really highlighted the unity of the Church.   Part of that was simply worshiping with 21000 young people singing their hearts out to the Lord.  Another aspect of that was all the friends from across the country and world that I got to meet up with at the Youth Gathering.  It was a great reminder that although we are separated by great distances, we are still all one family – one body in Christ.  But most of all, it was watching the youth from our congregation – caring for one another, making sure everyone was included, talking through difficult social issues, working out differences in more.  That week with our students from Fishers was a great one. 

The other event was our Church’s National Convention in Tampa Bay Florida from July 20-25.  Now you might be expecting me to tell you that this meeting highlighted for me the divisions in the church.  That however would not be entirely true.  For me the convention highlighted both unity and division.  There is some obvious division going on in the LCMS.  It was very obvious that there are two different ideas about what the direction, of our church should be and how we should practice the faith we believe and confess.  There is disagreement and hurt going on.  It came out… poured out in a debate over the closing of one of our church’s Colleges.  Yet at the same time, we are a very united church.  Most of the resolutions that came before the convention passed with a 70-90% favorable vote.  One debate really brought this out for me.  In a resolution on our church’s stance on creationism, we argued over whether to say God created the world in six days or six “natural” days.  The curious thing is that almost everyone on both sides of that debate firmly believe that God created everything just the way Moses describes in Genesis 1.

As I have been reflecting on these two events, I have been asking myself a question that I want to put before you.  “What can you or I do for the unity of the Church?”  The first and most important answer to that question is that I can’t create that unity.  Neither can you.  Thank God, we don’t have to.   In Ephesians 4 Paul writes that we should “Make every effort to KEEP the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.”  He does not ask us to create it.  This unity already exists… it’s a unity of the Spirit.  This is the unity, given by God’s working, which binds together all who in their heart believe in Jesus Christ.  For now, hidden by all the outward divisions in the Christian church, this unity is an article of faith, not sight.  We confess this faith every time we say the Nicene Creed – “I believe in one, holy Christian and Apostolic Church…” This unity is very real.

So, heeding Paul’s admonition, what can you or I do to “keep” the unity of the church?  Paul already gave us the answer in the previous verse – Ephesians 4:2.  “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.”  Please notice that God is not calling us as individuals here to start discussions with other church bodies over the things that divide and unite us.  Those tasks are important, but others have that calling.  He doesn’t say we should ignore the differences that divide us and pretend they don’t exist.  No his words speak to our individual relationships, how we treat one another in our congregations and in the larger Christian community. First, “be completely humble.”  Rejoice in the fact that God is God and you are not.  Give up the arrogance and self-righteousness that insists that you have all the answers… that refuses to listen.  The next word is “gentle.”  When sharing your viewpoint don’t be a bull in a china shop.  Listen.  Seek to understand others.  Help them to understand what you believe… your point of view.  And with that be “patient.”  Be patient with others and with yourself.  It may take a while for others and for you to really understand the viewpoints expressed.  Also be patient with God – give Him to work on your heart and the hearts of others.  Finally, “bearing with one another in love.”  One of the hardest things to do is to disagree without being disagreeable.  That takes love… the love of God that He has given you in Christ…  In our relationship with each other – our first aim should not be to get people to see things our way.  Our first aim should be to love each other as we have been loved. 

These are the keys to keeping the unity of the Spirit.  They are also impossible for you or me on own.  Our sinful nature is proud, arrogant, self-righteous, impatient and unloving.  That means there is only one hope.  You and I both have to die.  We have to die daily to sin, to arrogance and pride and rise to newness of life.  We have to live out our baptisms every day for baptisms signifies that “the old Adam in us should, by daily contrition and repentance, be drowned and die, along with all sin and evil desires, so that daily a new man might come forth and arise to live before God in righteousness and purity forever.”  What happened to Paul needs to happen daily to you and me.  I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.   How can you and I help keep the unity of the church?  By dying… dying every day to sin, so that Christ might live in us and through us.  

God Uses the Streams

Psalm 46:4a  (ESV)

“There is a river whose STREAMS make glad the city of God…”

Last week I shared with you some thoughts about the national youth gathering.  I would like to continue along that strain with some thoughts generated in my mind by the second morning Bible study at the Gathering.  We were looking at the middle four verses of Psalm 46 – talking about the river that makes glad the city of God.  As I listened, the realization struck me that it’s the streams of the river that “make glad the city of God.”  At first I got this image all wrong – thinking about how the river (perhaps Jesus or God’s Word or God’s grace) flows into the streams – all of us who are his people.  The problem with that is - rivers don’t flow into streams.  Streams flow into rivers.  So, I sat there during this Bible study searching on google for information about streams and wondering – what is the Psalmist telling us?

Well think about how this works in nature.  The water comes down in snow and rain. The snow melts and the rain flows into the streams. The streams carry the water to the rivers.  The rivers carry the water to the oceans.  Apply that metaphor to us.   God gives His “rain” – His grace to us in Jesus Christ, in word and sacrament.  That grace creates faith in our hearts.  We as God’s newly created streams carry that grace into all the world – the places where we live and work and play.  Along the way God works through the word of grace we share with the world… the water of life – He

works to created faith in more and more hearts… until the stream becomes and river… the river of life and carries us into the vast ocean of God’s kingdom.

Now I don’t know about you, but that works for me.  We are God’s streams grace, reaching into many lives with His love, bringing with us more and more people to Jesus, the river of life and into His kingdom.  That’s our calling… that’s the mission we have been given.  We are God’s streams and God uses us to “make glad the city of God.’

But then I started to think about all the times we have driven through the pan handle of Texas on our way to Colorado.  There are all sorts of streams out there. Most years they are bone dry because most years there just isn’t enough rain.  This year those streams were all full – because there has been plenty of rain. 

The thought struck me – Am I a dry stream?  Sometimes.   But it’s not because God is not supplying enough water.  IN His word, at church, in youth group at worship God is constantly pouring down the living water of His grace into our lives.  If I am a dry stream, it’s because I am neglecting God’s means of grace in my daily life.  How much better it is when God is filling you and me up daily with His grace and forgiveness through word and sacrament.  Then He is able to use us to bring that water of life to all around us… That’s how we become, in the Spirit’s hands, the streams that make glad the city of God.  Amen.

Even Youths Get Tired

Isaiah 40:30–31a

“Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted;

but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength…”

Well, as many of you know, I just returned from the National Youth Gathering.   I had the privilege of spending 7 days with 21 students and 8 adults from our church in Sugar Land, as we joined in worship, praise and service with 21,000 from around the world.  Today people have been asking me how I am doing.  My answer is basically the same – good but tired.  It was a great week that didn’t involve a lot of sleep – going to bed after midnight each night and up (for me at least) by about 6am each morning (earlier some mornings).  All the volunteers, the planners, our two DCE’s – Richard and Kelly – are amazing. I don’t know where they get all the energy.  I am exhausted.

I would like to let you in on a little secret. Our students are all exhausted too.  Yesterday morning, when we met down in the hotel lobby at 5am to go to the airport – they were having a hard time waking up.  When I walked down the aisle on the plane, so many of them were asleep in those uncomfortable chairs.  In the car on the ride back to Fishers from the airport – the three young men in the back fell asleep almost immediately. They were tired.  I imagine they still are today, but that they will recover quicker than I will.  There is truth to these words from Isaiah 40 – “Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted.”

Of course, there are other kinds of weariness, not just physical weariness.  While at the Gathering I spent some time reflecting on what had and had not changed since the last time I attended one of these 15 years ago.   You can find my musings posted on my Facebook page, for what they are worth.   Among those musings was a list of many of the struggle’s students face.  In many ways – they are the same and they are different from 15 years ago… from my days as a teen – depression, gender issues, identity issues, sexual challenges, discouragement, bullying (in person and on the internet), self-harm, suicide, addiction, family struggles, self-image…  The list goes on and on.  These things, more than physical weariness, is what Isaiah was referring to – the weariness that come from living in a sin-sick world.  Yes, even young people experience such weariness…. just as we older adults also do.

That’s why I wish every adult in our church had a chance to go to one of our youth gatherings.  It would give them a chance to get to know our students – their joys, their sorrows, their weariness and their energy.  I love being with students as they worship.  Why?  Because I am a sinner too.  As an adult I, like many of you experience that weariness of sin in my life.  You and I need the same message of the Gospel that they do.

 

This week there really was a great message of hope for them and for us.  Based on Psalm 46 the central message was that we have a REAL.PRESENT.GOD!  We have a God who in Christ is very real.  We have one who has Himself walked in our weariness all the way to the cross, carried their burdens and ours to His own death and then triumphed in His resurrection.  This Real God is Really present with us. He speaks through His word. He reaches out to us through the love of our fellow believers. (I think that is what I love most about being with youth on these trips – They live out what it means to be church.  On any number of occasions they took care of one another, loved once another, forgave one another). He is really present in the Lord’s Supper – giving His body and blood with the bread and wine to strengthen us.

It was cool to watch at Bible Study in the morning and in the mass events at night – how the presence of the Lord in word and song, brought new energy to youth and adults who just moments before were so exhausted.  It brought to life for me and in me the promise of God held out here in Isaiah 40.  Yes at times we all feel worn out and weary with life, but then “Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength…”  After all, ours is the savior who invites us, “Come unto me all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest.”  Amen! 

Real Freedom

For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery.

Galatians 5:1

A happy and blessed Independence to Day to all of my fellow Americans and greetings to my friends around the world on America’s 243^rd birthday.  Here in the USA this is a day for 5k runs, for parades in each town, for back yard family picnics, for cooking on the grill, for concerts at the park, for fireworks in each town – as we celebrate the blessings of freedom. 

I thought for a moment I would stop and ask the question – “What is this thing called freedom?’  In the Declaration of Independence Thomas Jefferson wrote that we have all been endowed by God with the rights of “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.”  As Americans and in much of the Western world we talk about freedom of worship, freedom of the press, freedom of speech and more.  Those are all very precious freedoms – freedoms that men and women have fought and died to preserve for us.  So the 4^th of July in America is a time of treasuring those freedoms, for remembering those who gave so much to preserve those freedoms and for thanking God for those freedoms.

Still though, what is this thing called freedom?  Does freedom mean that we are free to do whatever we want, to say whatever we want, to do whatever we please?  In one sense those are freedoms.  However, in a deeper, spiritual sense those aren’t really freedom at all.  In a deeper spiritual sense, that kind of freedom is exactly what Paul was warning the Galatians about. For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery.

Doing what we please is exactly what led man into slavery to sin.  When Adam and Eve took freely of the forbidden fruit they became slaves of sin, of selfishness, of pride and death. Indeed, at that moment, in our first parents, we all became such slaves.  God did not create us to be our own Masters.  He created us to be His servants. True freedom is thus the freedom to be what God created us to be.  So when we set out to be our own master, to do as we please we give up freedom.  We become enslaved to our lusts and selfishness and pride… doomed to death. 

That’s why Christ came.  God’s Son, Jesus, is the greatest freedom fighter of all time.  He gave up His freedom to secure ours.  He humbled Himself, lived our lives, allowed Himself to be arrested, and unjustly put to death for us.  He became the slave led out to die on the cross so that by His resurrection on Easter morning He might set us free…free to be what God intended us to be – free to serve Him by serving and loving one another. 

That’s what Paul means – “For freedom Christ has set us free…”  Then he warns us – “do not submit again to a yoke of slavery.”  Do not then use your freedom in Christ as an excuse to do as you please… to sin freely because God will forgive you anyway.  That’s trampling God’s grace.  That’s submitting again to a yoke of slavery.  It’s not freedom!

Real freedom is found at the cross… is found on your knees in repentance, forgiven of your sins in Christ.  Real freedom is living not as you please- but as He pleases… living for Him who died for you and rose again… living in love and service for your friends, your family, even your enemies.  That’s the freedom Jesus fought for and won for you.  “And if the son shall make you free you shall be free indeed.”